The Seminary Student Writes

One of my new textbook's titles sums up what I fear most about this seminary journey, The Seminary Student Writes.  Of course, I write all the time.  I write letters, emails, articles for the church newsletter, documents for any number of work-related needs, etc.  Those types of writing are VERY different from academic writing that is now expected of me in seminary.  I will be writing a lot of papers - long papers- from reflections on topics to summaries of bodies of work to genuine full-blown research papers.  It has been decades since I have written academically, and even then I'm not convinced I did it well.

My earliest memory of writing is when we wrote book reports in Elementary School.  I loved to read, but hated taking time from reading to write.  In high school, I did well on writing assignments, and I truly don't recall what I felt about writing at that point.  I do, however, remember my first writing assignment in college.  I took English 11 the summer before my Freshman year.  I turned in my very first paper, and it was returned the next day with a large red "F" on the top.  My first "F" on a paper, ever.  You see, I had a comma splice in my paper, and that was an immediate "F."  I had no clue what a comma splice was, or where it might be in my paper.  I only knew I was devastated.  As you may be able to tell, I have perhaps not yet recovered.  Ever since that paper, I have questioned my ability as a writer, and certainly in the technical aspects of writing.

Even though people often tell me they enjoy reading what I write, I know that I have a long way to go.  As I mentioned before, the looming challenge is that academic writing is a completely different beast than a newsletter article or a blog.  I genuinely want to improve.  I know the importance of good writing in any career, but perhaps especially in the one towards which I am working.  Yet that red letter lurks in the back of my brain - a pain I do not want to endure again.

This week of orientation provides us with two mini courses:  one on Speaking the Word, and one on Writing.  I have the opportunity to learn from professionals how to improve these two aspects of my life and ministry, and for that I am beyond grateful.  I relish this opportunity.  Even with that desire, the announcement of a book report due on Wednesday (one page, no less) struck fear in my heart, literally making it beat faster.  God sent me here, He will provide the support and ability to succeed here.  I know this.  The next week and coming semester will provide me plenty of opportunity to face these fears head on.  As Deborah Core suggests in the textbook I mentioned at the beginning, "I suggest that we begin to think about writing from a religious viewpoint and open up this part of our intellectual (or even emotional) lives to the transforming power of God.  Let's explore the idea that the communicating, writing part of our lives - regardless of our past experiences - can be enriched, blessed and used by God."  May it be so.  May it be so.

And So It Begins.... (or, I'm in Seminary - wooooo hoooo!)

Today may have been Tuesday, August 10th, 2010 for you, but for me it was the first day in my journey of formation to be a Priest.  After years of questioning and discerning and a summer of packing, moving, unpacking and adjusting, the first day of Seminary orientation was finally here.  David and I gathered with the other 25 people in my class (we are called "Juniors") and most spouses to begin the journey with Holy Eucharist.  We are first people of God, coming together in community to love and serve Him.  It was a beautiful, clear morning in Sewanee, and the light in the Chapel of the Apostles was exhilarating.  Our student body president, Josh Bowron, challenged us in his sermon to hold lightly who we think we are and what we are capable of doing - and Dean Stafford echoed that in his welcome.  It is already apparent that the Holy Spirit will take us all and make these 3 years so much different than we expect.

Our class seems to be a wonderful mix of people in different ages and stages of life.  I have been blessed to meet most of them as they move in, and even before that on Facebook.  Interestingly, we are evenly divided male and female, so David has many other male spouses with whom he can commiserate.   It was wonderful to finally have us all in the same place to begin connecting as a community of faith.  We will, for the most part, have all of our classes together - we even stay in the same room for our classes!

My emotions overwhelmed me today.  I woke up nervous, as is to be expected.  When we entered the Chapel for the service, I was overtaken with a sense of total elation and peace that I am exactly where God wants me to be, doing exactly what He wants me to do, and it has become the desire of my heart.  The more we talked about what is to come this year and beyond, I could barely contain my excitement.  I know, I know, I'm usually so low-key. ;)  But this is something I summarily dismissed as a possibility for my life just six years ago - yet here I am, far away from home, joyfully diving into seminary.  My girls love it here, and David is more supportive than I ever could have imagined.  Thanks be to God.

Anticipation

Summer for the Jollys is nearly over.  Sloan and Christina meet their teacher on Friday and start school on Monday.  I start orientation on Tuesday.  Mary Katharine doesn't start school until the end of August, but has already started volleyball practice every day.  These last few days of summer are filled with activities.  We are helping many families move to the mountain before orientation starts, registering cars and getting drivers licenses, and fitting in as much play time with friends as possible.  Even as we do all this, our minds are starting to turn in preparation for next week.

Sloan and Christina seem excited about their school, and we talk about it often. I have learned with both of them that excitement prior to an event does not remotely mean excitement the day of the event.  In anticipation of extreme 1st day anxiety (common to both of them), we are trying to ease back towards a more structured bedtime and wake up time. This has not been popular with ANY of us. Christina has become increasingly clingy, and Sloan more edgy.  OK, I admit I might be slightly more edgy too! 

We all wonder if we are up to the challenge of a new year in school - adjusting to new teachers, handling the workload while still having fun, and figuring out what our new routine will be.  Mary Katharine worries about homework (we hear it is fierce at SAS), Sloan doesn't enjoy any change, Christina wonders about reading and writing well enough, and I wonder if I am capable of being a student again with all of the reading, studying and papers.  It's really kind of funny.  We finally realized that all we had to do was trust God and the move here would be OK.  We gave up control, gave up our security, and moved to Sewanee for 3 years of school.  Yet, we are now succumbing to FUD about the upcoming year.  Leaving everyone we knew and loved, moving several states away, and giving up financial security - that was all fine - new school, not so much.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  God is God and we are not.  He has all of this under control.  Therefore, the plan for the remainder of the summer vacation is less worry, more prayer.  Hey - sounds like a plan forever!