Often it's the journey, not the destination where we should put our focus. Just last night, my Oswald Chambers devotional talked about how we have no idea what God's goal may be. He suggested that our lives should be devoted to the journey - focused on the Lord. I'm a fairly driven, type A, goal-oriented person and I struggle with enjoying the journey. I love to cross things off my lists, and delight in the joy of achieving a goal. That is one reason I began training for the triathlon. This seemed to be a good way to channel my competitive side and have some tangible goal achievement.
Today I started my workout specifically to achieve a goal, since I had not had a goal-achieving day at work. I was swimming today, which is the area I have struggled with the most since the beginning of the training. 11 weeks ago I could barely swim 25 meters without collapsing, and recently I swam 200 meters straight for the first time. This seemed like good progress to me, although I am supposed to swim 400 in the race. Today, I wanted to swim only sets of 100s and 200s with no 50s in the mix. I hoped to swim a total of 800, which is a lot for me. I swam a few 100s, and one 200, and was narrowing in on the end of my workout. My friend Allison came by the pool on her way out of the Y to give me words of encouragement. We have been talking about the mental aspect of sports, so she came to tell me, "you can swim further!" After she left, I decided I would swim another 200 then leave. As I was finishing the last lap, I realized I could go further, so I thought I would try to swim 300. Again, towards the end, I realized I could go further still. I lost offical count after 700, but I'm nearly positive that I swam at least 1000 straight. All total today I swam a MILE! One of my long term swimming goals is to swim a mile straight. After today, that is becoming a shorter term goal!
The thing is, I really enjoyed the swimming when I got into the rhythm. Every breath allowed me to see the sky and the clouds moving by. I could marvel in God's creation, while being joyful that I was healthy and fit enough to swim like this. It was strangely almost relaxing. My form wasn't great by any stretch, and I wasn't fast at all. But I blew my goal for the day out of the water (pardon the pun). I was too short sighted and focused on a small intermediate goal instead of the journey.
I still do believe that goals are important, and planning is critical for achievement. But as I continue training, I'm going to make sure to try to enjoy the journey a little more. In my life, I've been trying to do the same. I am taking more quiet time for myself to be alone with God, spending more focused one-on-one time with my husband, and enjoying real play with my children. Our life here is a blessing and a challenge. May God grant me the grace to live each day as Oswald Chambers says, "seeking to do the 'will of the Father'...and whatever I encounter on the way, whether joy or sorrow, success or failure" may I not be, "deterred from that purpose."
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Exercises in Humility
If I'm honest with myself, I would admit that I don't like to do things that I'm not good at doing. I work hard, but usually I work hard at things I know will turn out well. Growing up, I was not good at any sports I tried. I was that girl who was picked last for every team in PE and benched at church softball. Convinced that I was not athletic (an opinion frequently reinforced by others), I found other talents and left all sports to those more talented than I.
In the past 10 years, I have made various attempts to find exercise that appealed to me. I tried running, and enjoyed the races, but was not fast, and never seemed to get better. I tried various aerobic classes, weight lifting, and even Zumba. Nothing stuck, and I became further convinced that I was not athletic. Needless to say, taking on triathlon training was not a logical course of action for me since I am not good at swimming, biking or running.
This week has been particularly humbling. I went out to Carolina Triathlon on Woodruff Road to participate in their Saturday morning bike ride. I called ahead to verify the length of the ride (30ish miles), and pace of the "C" group (14-16 mph). I have ridden up to 25 miles before, and tend to ride 16-20 mph on flat ground, so felt comfortable with this. Right out of the parking lot, I knew this was not going to be as I had envisioned. The pace on the flatland was 25-27 mph, which had me working a lot harder than I had planned from the very beginning. Five miles into the 30 mile ride, the yogurt I ate for breakfast was long gone, my chain came off my bike (I got it back on, but got behind the group), and a series of hills wore me out. There I was, dead last in the group and off my bicycle mid-hill trying to catch my breath. Randy, the ride leader, pushed me along, and I survived the ride. Yes, I rode further than I had ever ridden before, and I was not dead last for the rest of the ride. And yes, I felt publicly humiliated. Then on Monday, my tri training class did a group run at the Greenville High track. I was the slowest in the group - by a good bit. We did speed work, and when we ran 1200s, I was almost a full lap behind the lead runner - again dead last.
To me, the most interesting part of this journey is that I have been praying for humility, as pride tends to be a dominant sin in my life. You've heard the phrase, "be careful what you pray for?" In this training, pride has been the furthest thing from my heart. I'm NOT the best, in fact, I'm the worst in the group. My accomplishments are not defining me, which is a new experience. I spend every training swim, bike or run praying and/or singing praises to God. I have to rely on His grace and strength to get me through. At the end, I'm thrilled with my baby step accomplishments. Yes, I was mortified on Saturday when I was the last person who held up a whole group, but I got better, and I finished the ride. Yes, I was embarrassed to be the last person running on the track, but I ran a LOT faster than I thought I could. With God's strength, I am persevering my goal to complete this triathlon. With God's grace, I am learning strength in humility.
In the past 10 years, I have made various attempts to find exercise that appealed to me. I tried running, and enjoyed the races, but was not fast, and never seemed to get better. I tried various aerobic classes, weight lifting, and even Zumba. Nothing stuck, and I became further convinced that I was not athletic. Needless to say, taking on triathlon training was not a logical course of action for me since I am not good at swimming, biking or running.
This week has been particularly humbling. I went out to Carolina Triathlon on Woodruff Road to participate in their Saturday morning bike ride. I called ahead to verify the length of the ride (30ish miles), and pace of the "C" group (14-16 mph). I have ridden up to 25 miles before, and tend to ride 16-20 mph on flat ground, so felt comfortable with this. Right out of the parking lot, I knew this was not going to be as I had envisioned. The pace on the flatland was 25-27 mph, which had me working a lot harder than I had planned from the very beginning. Five miles into the 30 mile ride, the yogurt I ate for breakfast was long gone, my chain came off my bike (I got it back on, but got behind the group), and a series of hills wore me out. There I was, dead last in the group and off my bicycle mid-hill trying to catch my breath. Randy, the ride leader, pushed me along, and I survived the ride. Yes, I rode further than I had ever ridden before, and I was not dead last for the rest of the ride. And yes, I felt publicly humiliated. Then on Monday, my tri training class did a group run at the Greenville High track. I was the slowest in the group - by a good bit. We did speed work, and when we ran 1200s, I was almost a full lap behind the lead runner - again dead last.
To me, the most interesting part of this journey is that I have been praying for humility, as pride tends to be a dominant sin in my life. You've heard the phrase, "be careful what you pray for?" In this training, pride has been the furthest thing from my heart. I'm NOT the best, in fact, I'm the worst in the group. My accomplishments are not defining me, which is a new experience. I spend every training swim, bike or run praying and/or singing praises to God. I have to rely on His grace and strength to get me through. At the end, I'm thrilled with my baby step accomplishments. Yes, I was mortified on Saturday when I was the last person who held up a whole group, but I got better, and I finished the ride. Yes, I was embarrassed to be the last person running on the track, but I ran a LOT faster than I thought I could. With God's strength, I am persevering my goal to complete this triathlon. With God's grace, I am learning strength in humility.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Video Evidence
I am training for a Sprint Triathlon in August, which surprises many people close to me. I have never been athletic - in fact, I distinctly remember being one of the very last people chosen for the kickball team in elementary school, and I rode the bench in church softball. I have made many efforts to establish an exercise routine, and all have failed quickly. Despite all of that, I want to be a fit and athletic example for my three girls. In a moment of insanity a triathlon seemed to be just what I needed to keep me motivated. It turns out that I'm having fun training!
I'm in week 8 of my 12 week triathlon training class, and tonight was underwater video night. At the beginning of this course, I could not swim one length of the pool without being seriously winded. Last week I swam 8 lengths (which is not any great distance by most people's standards, but a giant leap by mine) straight! This is half our distance for the tri. My underwater video debut (I debated whether to smile, but then realized that breathing was a far better choice) made it abundantly clear why my swimming is so very, very slow. I was a shining example for the class on how NOT to position your body in the water. While this may have discouraged many people, I loved it! I'm a visual learner - so actually getting to SEE what I am doing wrong will help me correct it. I've seen the YouTube videos of swimmers doing it right, so it's abundantly clear to me all the things I'm doing wrong. We had a quick end to our swim because of thunder, but tomorrow I get to start working on my form with a clear picture in my head.
Life would be so much easier of we got video evidence of all the things we need to improve. Sure, sometimes it is embarrassing for a group of people to look at you doing things all wrong, but then again, aren't they seeing you do it live? Just imagine - video playback of my conversation with my husband, or specific parenting moments, or meetings I have facilitated. This obviously isn't going to happen, but I realize that when I spend regular quiet time with God, He replays things in my brain that I could have done differently. If I'm open to His promptings, He will also guide me to the best way to rectify what I have done. My real life video may not be quite as tangible as my underwater video, but when I stay connected to God, it is even more satisfying.
I'm in week 8 of my 12 week triathlon training class, and tonight was underwater video night. At the beginning of this course, I could not swim one length of the pool without being seriously winded. Last week I swam 8 lengths (which is not any great distance by most people's standards, but a giant leap by mine) straight! This is half our distance for the tri. My underwater video debut (I debated whether to smile, but then realized that breathing was a far better choice) made it abundantly clear why my swimming is so very, very slow. I was a shining example for the class on how NOT to position your body in the water. While this may have discouraged many people, I loved it! I'm a visual learner - so actually getting to SEE what I am doing wrong will help me correct it. I've seen the YouTube videos of swimmers doing it right, so it's abundantly clear to me all the things I'm doing wrong. We had a quick end to our swim because of thunder, but tomorrow I get to start working on my form with a clear picture in my head.
Life would be so much easier of we got video evidence of all the things we need to improve. Sure, sometimes it is embarrassing for a group of people to look at you doing things all wrong, but then again, aren't they seeing you do it live? Just imagine - video playback of my conversation with my husband, or specific parenting moments, or meetings I have facilitated. This obviously isn't going to happen, but I realize that when I spend regular quiet time with God, He replays things in my brain that I could have done differently. If I'm open to His promptings, He will also guide me to the best way to rectify what I have done. My real life video may not be quite as tangible as my underwater video, but when I stay connected to God, it is even more satisfying.
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